Wednesday, March 08, 2006
If you noticed, I don't really put my hmwk up on my blog now. These days, I talk more about my feelings. I'm in a jumble now. Should I be happy, or sulk? Should I base it on my thoughts? But my thoughts are so erratic and jumping from topic to topic, and I can't possibly smile or frown the whole day. Neither can I post that much on this blog...because....
Ok...never mind. I have history rev. to do. I have to study what is history.....why do we learn history....what is time....and so on and so forth. I'm not in the mood to study but HISTORY'S TOMORROW..!!!!!!
Argh. Me and my hysterics. I've been on a tense coil these few days, and my life is not making it any better for me.
Sigh. So. What shal I talk about?
Shall I talk about my friend who crashed down on my knee and sprained my ankle, and then I got scolded by my OTHER friend just because I said it hurts? Shall I talk about how I was called a pervert and how deeply hurt I am? Or shall I just scream out loud because I am so frustrated and so beyond caring that it hurts so much?
Not a wonderful list of choices, but there you have it. Life cannot be so simple for me now.
Ok, let's talk about how frustrated I am, shall we?
I am frustrated because I can't find anybody to confide in such that they do not scoff at me. I want to scream because every time somebody ridicules me and says that I am a pervert they have NO IDEA HOW BADLY IT HURTS. I feel like crying because I do not know what's going on and why I am behaving this way. I think I am going crazy and I know it. There's no one to comfort me when I do want to cry. They'll go,"Yeah right, as if." Because NO BODY know how I think, what I do and why I did. They have no idea what it is like to be me. They think it's so easy to just ridicule me and laugh it off later. Well it's not as easy as you think and it is not what you think it is. You think I'm sick and you tell me so, thinking I would just put it off as a joke or a jibe. But every time you said that you have no idea that you drew blood. So now I am a bloodless person, unable to feel properly or smile properly again. Do you know how that is damn tiring to smile when you are hurting inside? No you don't. You are not me. You don't understand. So just stop it. Stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop
stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop
stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop
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stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop
stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop
stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop
stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop
stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop
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stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop
stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop
stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop
stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop
All I want is for someone to help me. Anyone. Please.
posted at 6:58 PM... bye...
Rayne-Bucklean Girl
Saluting all officers of NPCC SEA
I Draw My Life
Friends
Family
Buckle!!
Un-enthu People..
People who are not Sincere
People who stab you in the back